So, he called. It was great! He tried really hard not to talk about himself. He's grown up quite a bit. Still has a way to go, but he's growing up and I'm proud of him.
He gave me a lot of practical advice, updated me on his search for a job and his desire to do God's will. He asked about me like usual. He genuinely cares.
At the end, I said, "HEY...hey, I'm glad we're friends again. It's good to talk to you." He said, "Yeah, I mean, you were, uh are, a really good friend. And we invested a lot of time in each other. It would be bad to let that go to waste." Then he sort of apologized. "I understand why it was hard for you and why you needed time." He got that choke in his voice that he gets when he's being most serious -- when he feels most vulnerable, most down-to-earth and honest. He continued, "If you need any more help or have any more question...about the test, you know, call me back. No matter how late, whatever time. If you need anything, call." I said for him to call whenever, and if anything changed with his job stuff, and if there was anything for which he needed prayer. He said good luck on the test, I said good luck on work.
That was all.
It felt so, so, so very good to have him bring up the past like that -- to acknowledge it for the pain that it caused me. He sounded so relieved and so at ease, at home, to have our friendship back to the way it was closer to the beginning. I could tell that he had been hurting for having hurt me. I know that he thinks about me so, so, so very often. I know that I am an important part of his life. I know a lot more now. In an odd way.
I know that I am a very unique and beautiful and important young lady. Many men find me fascinating and exciting and fun and genuine. I am gorgeous and separate from other women in many ways. Patrick Lynn Fitzgerald saw that in me, sees that in me. He's my brother in Jesus, loved by the same God. And he messes up -- just like Raliegh, like Thomas, like Tommy, like K-Pat, like everyone.
But all these friends, these boys, these men have loved me.
If selfishly at times, still they have loved me, at some point, absolutely purely.
I'm glad I waited. I'm glad I endured. There's nothing more beautiful to me in this very breath that I am breathing as I type out this episode of this particular waiting for closure fulfilled -- there nothing more beautiful right now than knowing that I am important enough to someone that he would lay down his pride for me, lay down everything around him, to show me in even a small way, that he had wronged me. And that he was sorry.
I'm glad he's back. I'm glad we're friends. I'm glad my best friend is in my life again. The kind of friend that I don't need to talk to, but enjoy his conversation, his laughter, and his love.
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